The Prodigal, the Legalist, and Grace for All
It’s football time in Tennessee! Fans are gearing up for tailgate parties, Saturday morning traffic jams, and noise, lots of noise. I love football season. But to the dismay of my husband, I don’t love it because it’s football season. Instead, I love it because the leaves will change. I love it because the smell of cookouts and charcoal burning will fill the air. I love it because we are getting closer to Christmas. So, really, I just love the fall and football season is an afterthought.
When it comes to football, I’m kind of like the Grinch or maybe the Grim Reaper. If it’s on in our home, I’ll find any excuse not to sit and watch it. I just don’t care to see a bunch of men running towards each other and throwing the ball downfield. (To all my brothers out there playing football, I wish you a wonderful season. I just likely will not be watching.) I don’t, however, minimize the skills necessary, the sheer God-given athleticism, the work ethic and practice needed to be able to run and stop and throw repeatedly over several hours. It’s pretty phenomenal but if I’m going to watch, I’d much rather be there in the thick of it at a game than see it on a square box.
But, my husband enjoys football. Over the past thirteen years, I’ve avoided watching games like the plague (unless we go to a game, then as I mentioned I’m all in!). Each year I try my best to like football and each year I fail miserably. I feel like it’s some silly wifely duty for me to like football. I’ve even felt guilty in the past for not enjoying it. I remember year after year telling friends that this would finally be the year I’d be “into” football.
Then it dawned on me. I’ve got it all wrong. It’s not at all about football. It’s about Thern (my husband). It’s about being his lover and his friend. I don’t need to try to enjoy football. I should enjoy Thern, which I do. I have the privilege of being Thern’s dearest friend.
Tim and Kathy Keller address the idea of friendship in marriage in their book The Meaning of Marriage:
“Friendship love can be cultivated by spending quality time together. That means doing something that at least one of you loves doing and that enables you to communicate while doing it. Most people immediately think of recreation and entertainment, and that is right, but doing common work tasks—like gardening or chores—bonds you together, too. Above all, show your spouse that time with him or her has priority in your life.” (p. 159)
That is simple and basic. My husband is my friend. Why do we make things so complicated? (Asking for a friend.)
This also means I don’t have to like football! Whew. That’s a relief. But I do love my husband and as his friend I can enjoy a game with him. Perhaps with this new mindset this really might be the year that I begin to like football on the television. Nah, probably not, but I do anticipate cuddling up under him to watch, holding his hand, and enjoying snacks together. I anticipate chatting about the game (which really means him telling me what is going on) and laughing at his excitement. This I can do, or better stated, I get to do.
Yes! It’s football time in Tennessee!
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