Book Study: Chapter 3, Fear of Other Women

Read: Luke 10: 38-42; 1 Samuel 1:1-28; Luke 1: 5-25, 39-45, 57-66; Luke 2:36-38

(As a reminder, read the corresponding chapter in Fear and Faith and the passages listed below. The study will be written in such a way that assumes you’ve read the Scripture references. Please note, this is a book study, not a traditional Bible study. Instead of focusing on one particular book of the Bible, we will skip around to highlight various biblical characters and texts. To learn more, visit the Book Study page at http://www.trillianewbell.com/fear-and-faith-small-group-study/.)

At first glance, you might read the “Fear of Other Women” and think I’m talking about actually being scared of other women. But that’s not what I mean. We can, however, be tempted to compare ourselves to other women, envy their lives, and judge them by distorted standards. This can lead to fearing other women instead of enjoying them as a gift God has given to us.

In this week’s study, I’m going to ask you to use your imagination and pretend the various women we’ll be discussing attend your church or small group. We are going to take a look at what might happen if we knew their story and applied some of the temptations we struggle with to them. In other words, I’m writing out how we might perceive these women based on comments I’ve heard, temptations I’ve dealt with, and social media interactions I’ve observed.

Lazy Mary

(Luke 10:38–42)

Our interpretation if we were sitting with Mary and Jesus:

Martha opens up her home to Jesus and is slaving away, selflessly serving Mary and Jesus. But what is Mary doing? She’s sitting. It seems like every time we turn around Mary is just sitting. She never helps out. Doesn’t she know that the first will be last? Why isn’t she up giving Martha a hand? Her laziness annoys me. And then Jesus has the nerve to correct Martha after she worked so hard on his behalf. Why would he reward laziness?

Reality:

Martha’s service is commendable but her heart was worried. She was anxious and wasn’t able to enjoy her guest. Mary wasn’t being lazy, she was being hospitable. Her heart was bent towards Jesus. We too easily can judge the woman who may not meet our circumstantial standards. But instead, we should be gracious and think charitably about our sisters.

Favored Hannah

(1Samuel 1:1–28)

Our interpretation after Hannah shares her story in small group:

Hannah has been barren and waiting on a child. Her husband’s second wife has all these kids and Hannah keeps crying about it. She goes to the temple and pleads with the Lord for a child. He hears her prayer and she gets what she wants. God, I’ve been just as devoted. I’ve had this same longing. I’ve begged you for things and here I am, still single. Still barren. Still ___. Why, God, do you have favor on others and you keep passing over me?

Reality:

I understand the pain of what it’s like for God not to answer our prayers for good things. We wait and look and see time and time again other women get what we’ve been asking for. We must learn to rejoice with those who rejoice, even when our hands are still empty. Our hearts must be bent towards loving others. This can only come by the power and grace of our loving Father. Loving Father. That’s right. We must remember he is committed to our eternal good in him — in everything he does or does not give us.

Perfect-Mom Elizabeth

(Luke 1: 5-25, 39-45, 57-66)

Our interpretation as we are chatting with a friend about Elizabeth:

Did you hear about the birth of Elizabeth’s son? The holy-roller and her perfect husband got pregnant. Isn’t she the one that “walks blamelessly”? Yeah-right. Aren’t they too old to have kids anyways? Well, she gets a visit from Mary and evidently the baby in her womb jumped or something. Well, the baby is born and comes out just like his parents. I mean it all must be fake. Surely they aren’t that devoted to God. The other friend speaks up, “I’m just hoping my kids turn out just like him.”

Reality:

God calls us to be holy as he is holy. He also knows we can’t do it and so he sent his Son to die the death that we deserve. No one is righteous. We all need Jesus. Elizabeth knew that her only hope was God. She and her baby, who would be John the Baptist, were filled with the Spirit at the voice of Mary not because they were perfect, but because they knew that Jesus, the Messiah, has come into the world. What joy that would bring! Our hope isn’t in the behavior of our kids (or ourselves!). It’s in the finished work of Jesus. That’s all we have. That’s all they had. So, instead of chastising and slandering our sisters who practice their faith a certain way, why not rejoice in knowing that they know the Savior who takes away their sin—and yours too.

Be a Band of Sisters

As I wrote in Fear and Faith, let’s be a band of sisters — encouraging one another, spurring each other on to love and good works!

From Chapter 3:

So let’s look for ways to build each other up and to spur each other on in love. For we know that our flesh and heart may fail us, but we also know that God is our strength and portion forevermore (Psalm 73:26). Let’s draw upon that strength to point others to Him, the one who is able to make our sister stand firm (Romans 14:4). We can put on encouragement because of what is written in Titus 3:3–7:

“For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.”

We were once filled with malice, envy, and hate, but now, because of Jesus, we can resist falling into those sins. The temptation will remain, but because of His goodness and loving kindness Jesus appeared and saved us—He made us new. Because we are new, we can fight sin. Because we are His, we desire to fight it (otherwise we would find a way to justify our thoughts and behavior). God does the work of making us new, which includes creating in us a new heart that desires to love and do good to our neighbor. We can rest in knowing that He provides the means to fight and the grace to love. He will help us rejoice with and encourage our sisters.

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